When it comes to flipping control of Congress in November, the polls say yes, yes, yes! and more or less everything the Dem leadership does screams no, no, no!

As witness the latest (final?) version of the (supposed) equivalent to the 1994 GOP Contract with America: New Direction for America (link to PDF at bottom of page).

Or, as it's now more snappily known, Six for '06.

Right from the ghastly design of the title-masthead thingy - looking as if taken from the titles of a late 70s Chevy Chase movie - to the layout (which gives you brainache reading the first graf of #1 of the Six) to the style (dreary and relentless) to the content (don't ask!).

The first graf of the intro is not the worst of it:

Congressional Democrats believe America should work for everyone - not just those at the top - by building opportunity and prosperity for all, and guaranteeing real security at home and around the world. We know that Americans can work together to meet the serious challenges facing our country, create a stronger nation, and build a safer world.

Where's the hook? The fact that the first two words average 11 letters in length can't help either. Nor does the ambiguity of the subject of the participle (or is it a gerund?) building: I'm pretty sure the subject is America - but the fact that the doc is from the Dems saying what the Dems plan to do with the 110th leads one to expect the subject to be - the Dems themselves!

And the substance? Is there any? If you were writing a bit for The Daily Show satirising the platitudes of political prose, what would you change?

The #1 issue is Real Security at Home and Overseas: 115 words in a single graf of six sentences. The first:

Reclaim American leadership with a tough, smart plan to transform failed Bush Administration policies in Iraq, the Middle East and around the world.  

A tough, smart plan?

Next sentence:

Require the Iraqis to take responsibility for their country and begin the phased redeployment of US forces from Iraq in 2006.  

Let's skirt round the elephant that is they couldn't take over control of Congress till 2007, and of the White House until 2009, so how the fuck... and just admire the honesty with which the doc acknowledges the sheer nothingness that is Dem policy on the issue consistently ranked by voters as their #1 issue!

In all of this, there is at least one truly bright spot: at least almost no voters will read the wretched thing.

Don't say I never do Pollyanna...