A Modest Proposal

We seem to have reached the point in political campaigns where neither the candidates nor the press nor political commentators seem to control the political debate.

Invariably, the person with the most voice (read as money and message) prevails and we are left wondering sometime next April why we did not hear about X issue or Y viewpoint or why nobody reported something about Z.

Its time to have an Official Referee.

The Official Referee will call fouls and assess penalties.  Replays will not be allowed.

Rules are as Follows

1. Lieing is not allowed.  Proposed penalty the MSM must report the lie and the offending party cannot repeat the lie once its reported.  Neither can the lie be rationalized, obsfucated or minimized.

2. Flip-flopping must be admitted and you get 3 tries to explain the flip flop.  Failing that ---- waffle references may be used by the offended party for the duration of the campaign.  The MSM can report the flip-flop for 72 hours and after that, it cannot be reported at all.

3. Underage children of candidates are off limits, as are up to 3 adult members of the candidates family over the age of 18.  The candidate cannot declare his spouse as off limits if she has spoken on his behalf.  Ex-wives and ex-husbands are available to the press but not to opposing campaigns.  Violations of this rule gives the MSM and the opposing candiates, three free shots at the offending party, which can include up to two completely unsubstantiated rumors.

4. Any candidate who makes reference to a bill in Congress by calling it by its sponsors names in a debate, loses 30 seconds of time.

5. Any candidate who criticizes his opponent for blocking legislation, judicial nominees or administrative appointments in a debate when he has done so himself or has supported his party's leadership in doing so; will be immediately muted and a warning will be placed under their picture indicating the candidate is lieing.

6. Candidates who criticize members of the MSM for asking stupid questions in a debate(eg why doesn't Senator Obama wear a flag pin) get 3 extra minutes of debate time.

7. Revelations that debates have been screwed with by technology (removing lightbulbs, changing podiums, etc), fixing the audience, or by feeding questions to the moderator will be met with the offending candidate being forced to air 5 minutes of their candidate delivering political drivel.

8. When VP candidates advocate policies contrary to their own nominee on the campaign trail ---- they must submit to extensive interviews with Sean Hannity/Bill O for Biden and  Maddow/Olbermannn for Palin.

9. If a candidate succeeds in lowering expectations for his debate performance and the MSM reports the successful effort to lower expectations; both Pres and VP candidates will have a round table debate in which Michael Moore will questions McCain/Pailin and Ann Coulter will question Obama/Biden.

10. Within 5 days of the first debate, all medical records, arrest records, military records, high school, college and post graduate grades, performance reviews, and employmnent records will be produced.  Failure to do so will cost the candidate 10 days of ad time in a swing satte of his opponent's choice.

11. A campaign gaffe entitles the opponent to 1 news cycle of media attention.  If the gaffe maker responds by pointing out some of his opponents gaffes then the MSM get 5 full days to focus on the first gaffe.

12. The MSM is free to ignore accusations of ageism (Mccain), sexism (Palin), racism (Obama) or smart-aleckness (Biden).  Candiates caught complaining about the MSM ignoring thses accusations can be described by the MSM as Cranky (Mccain), Bitchy (Palin), Elitist (Obama), and Caustic (Biden)

Add rules and penalties as you see fit

Tags: Election 2008, mccain, obama, press (all tags)


Advertise Blogads