An Open Letter to Ms. Ex-Governor Palin
by Chuckie Corra, Sun Aug 08, 2010 at 02:44:37 PM EDT
(Sorry, I decided I needed a release so I went ahead and took it out on Sarah Palin, its getting cliche but thats just how life is sometimes.)
Dear Mrs. Former Governor Palin,
Its been a long time since we have crossed paths. By a long time I mean never. Look at how you've progressed in the past 2 years! From being a no-name half-term serving Governor of America's biggest state (geographically), the conservative bear-killin' wolf-shootin' bastion of Alaska and all of its majestic beauty.
Now you're big time. Making 6 figures shelling out 30 minutes of your time to bitch about how Obama is destroying the world, the Democrats are trying to enslave our children, and how Nancy Pelosi is the spawn of Satan ready to indoctrinate the hell out of anything that comes within eyesight of her. Yes, this is the America we've always hoped and dreamed for. Since Thomas Jefferson, whom I will refer to as Tom Jeffy to be more on your level, first wrote the Declaration of Independence and subsequently the Constitution was written thereafter... these values have been the intention of this republic ever since!
Its so refreshing to see someone like yourself exemplify these values and proper actions. Yes Tom Jeffy taught us all well. I remember his key principles just like it was yesterday.
- Democrats = Socialism, Socialism = Satan
- Jesus governs America, Republican Presidents are second to this
- Everyone should be imposed with our values, because we're number 1 baby!!
Wait... whats that...? Hold on ... Im being told these aren't the things Tom Jeffy taught us back when he was alive....
Well. It seems that I am wrong once again. Well Ms. Palin, don't falter... for you are better than Tom Jeffy and the rest of the founding fathers. You show that you aren't afraid to make a complete fool of yourself by not knowing what you read or who your favorite founding father is. You aren't afraid to know nothing about the Bush doctrine or general Macroeconomics. You aren't afraid to flaunt your lack of political experience or capital in everyone's faces. You aren't scared to admit you don't have a damn clue about American foreign policy other than "we need to bomb terrorists because if a Democrat is in office we will have terrorist attacks on us every day."
Kudos Ms. Palin, for showing everyone why we didn't elect John McCain in November and why you still aren't taken seriously by the majority of the free-thinking base of Americans (i hope).
Charles William Corra Jr.