This is the fifth in a series of "spitballs of good intention" (SOGI) that I will send out to the Democratic Party or anyone who cares about restoring Democrats to majority status, redefining the party's image, discrediting the GOP machine, and eventually advocating a more progressive agenda. My goal is to crystallize (through suggestions of campaign-style ads or other PR) for busy or disinterested voters why the GOP is bad for the majority of Americans, so they will be motivated to go to the polls on election day and throw the Republibums out.

I saw famous Watergate journalist Bob Woodward on Larry King last month, and although I think he is a colossal, world-class jerk who has done much to squander the esteem and idealism of many, he did say one thing I thought at the time was rather poignant--that at the table of public affairs, someone is filling a chair that represents everyone's interest but the public's. It led me to envision SOGI #5:

At a sumptuous black-tie dinner, we focus in on a table full of stereotypically corpulent, cigar-chomping, fat-cat types. We don't necessarily see their faces, except maybe from the nose down. They are wearing nametags or we can clearly see a placecard on the table with a corrupted version of whatever interest they are representing. At the center of the table is a roast suckling pig with the apple in its mouth. As we go around the table, we hear snippets of conversation from each one about how their money is getting there interests advanced in the republican-controlled federal government. It can be said in a matter-of-fact tone or in a mocking or leering fashion. As we get to the last chair, we see that it is empty. The name on the placecard says "John Q. Public" or "The American People" as the screen fades to sounds of derisive laughter. Lastly, we see a screen that says something like "To regain our seat at the table, vote for Democratic candidate so-and-so."

There's more...

This is the fourth in a series of "spitballs of good intention" (SOGI) that I will send out to the Democratic Party or anyone who cares about restoring Democrats to majority status, redefining the party's image, discrediting the GOP machine, and eventually advocating a more progressive agenda. My goal is to crystallize (through suggestions of campaign-style ads or other PR) for busy or disinterested voters why the GOP is bad for the majority of Americans, so they will be motivated to go to the polls on election day and throw the Republibums out.

SOGI #4:

This could be useful as a sort of public service announcement, to get people thinking and aware of how certain media types who pass themselves off as journalists are really just shills spouting GOP talking points handed down from on high.  It is a send-up of the wildly popular Fox singing contest, American Idol. Call it "American Idolatry." Instead of Simon, Paula, Randy, and Ryan as judges and host, there are actors playing caricatures of conservative media types. I suggest in place of Simon: Andrew Sullivan; Paula: Mary Matalin; Randy: Alan Keyes; Ryan: Tucker Carlson.

Tucker/Ryan opens the show, explaining its premise: to find the pundit who does the best job of parroting whatever spin or lie the GOP is trying to use to improve its image or cover something up. Then show a clip of Scott McClellan or a succession of Republican leaders repeating the talking point. Tucker/Ryan repeats the talking point and begins to introduce the "contestants," which are really a series of clips from the gasbags we have all come to know and loathe, repeating the talking point on their own shows: Tweety, Timmeh, O'Falafel, etc. Or they could be the guests who appear on such shows. After each "contestant's" clip, the judges discuss/rate/criticize the performance. Also, sometime during the show, Tucker/Ryan could work in with a self-satisfied smirk how little representation the "opposition" gets, and maybe something about corporatized media, how news is beholden to ratings, etc. At the end of the show, have Tucker/Ryan tell the audience to go to a particular web site (instead of phoning) to vote for their favorite candidate. And the web site would be a media watchdog group that tracks this sort of thing. The people who go to the web site to vote would get more information about how they are being misled and what they can do to be better informed. There could be many different versions of the show, each featuring a different talking point. Maybe it would be enough to deflate the gasbags once and for all.

There's more...

This is the third in a series of "spitballs of good intention" (SOGI) that I will send out to the Democratic Party or anyone who cares about restoring Democrats to majority status, redefining the party's image, discrediting the GOP machine, and eventually advocating a more progressive agenda. My goal is to crystallize (through suggestions of campaign-style ads or other PR) for busy or disinterested voters why the GOP is bad for the majority of Americans, so they will be motivated to go to the polls on election day and throw the Republibums out.

There's more...

This is the second in a series of "spitballs of good intention" (SOGI) that I will send out to the Democratic Party or anyone who cares about restoring Democrats to majority status, redefining the party's image, discrediting the GOP machine, and eventually advocating a more progressive agenda. My goal is to crystallize (through suggestions of campaign-style ads or other PR) for busy or disinterested voters why the GOP is bad for the majority of Americans, so they will be motivated to go to the polls on election day and throw the Republibums out. SOGI #2:

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OK, that was my lame Oscar tie-in to an issue I've been wrestling with writing about--an image makeover for the Democratic Party (and that elephantine party, too, by default).  The Dems have allowed themselves to be defined by the opposition far too long, and I would like to start throwing a few spitballs of good intention their way, if they are open to suggestions.  I have no idea how concepts are turned into actual PR or campaign ads, and with the 2006 elections coming all too soon, time's a-wastin'.  So, anyone who knows how this particular kind of sausage is made and finds this or any future posts useful, I say go forth and make the Democratic Party prosper.  Otherwise, I am doing this simply to provoke thought.  Even as Republicans reveal themselves more and more to be the Potemkin Village Party, Democrats do themselves no favors by waiting passively for the enemy to self-destruct.

About a month ago, in a comment, I suggested the following "dots and bubbles" idea as a campaign-style ad (because the warrantless wiretapping issue was in the news):
1.    Bush (and by association the GOP congressional rubberstampers) says he needs warrentless domestic wiretapping in order to "connect the dots" in the hunt for terrorists.
2.    The image of Bush (and by association the GOP congressional rubberstampers) shielded from reality by a protective bubble is an idea that seems to resonate with the public.
3.    Show an image of not-so-connected dots in a confusing jumble, and then show those dots becoming bubbles, rising up from the flat surface. Within each bubble, show images of one failed Republican-endorsed policy or embarrassment after another (for example, anything to do with Iraq, Katrina, scandals, Cheney shooting a man in the face, the UAE port security debacle, some stupid Bush malapropism, etc.)
4.    As the bubbles continue to rise and pop (maybe with the sound of explosions instead of popping?), convey the message that Democratic candidate X is the superior choice.

Of course, this example is more about "them" than "us," but that is the basic gist of what I want to do: encapsulate as effectively as possible for busy or disinterested voters exactly why they should get to the polls and throw the Republibums out and why the Democrats represent the best hope for the majority of the American people.  Eventually I will work in ideas that incorporate the Democrats' 5-Point Plan for 2006 (1. Honest leadership and open government; 2. Real security; 3. Jobs in America that will stay in America; 4. a strong public education system; 5. a healthcare system that works for everyone), but I still have a lot I need to unleash on Republicans, so please indulge me. I have another one that's almost ready to go, and now the Muses are showing me a vision of a bathtub and a furry blue Sesame Street character.  Yeah, that's the ticket!

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