as generations age, tolerance and respect for diversity grows.   I don't know why the marriage word is so scary, it's not like heterosexual marriages are role models for staying together and not trying to hurt each other when the love wanes. It's weird to me, but it's a matter of time.  The choir already backs marriage, it's some reactionaries who worry about change that are those die-hards.

But there is a place for education and I think that means more out of the closet.  It's time for people to come out, the more the faster it'll be for minds to change.  Even Cheney, mr. neo-reactionary, loves his daughter and is glad to be a grandpa.  

You know what to do. Please click on the right side of my sig line to give the gift of equality to someone you love this holiday season. Thanks.

because allowing gays and lesbians to marry would be an acknowledgement that gay and lesbian relationships are just as valuable and deserve just as much respect as straight ones.  Many people who are ok with civil unions still insist, however incoherently, that man/woman is "the ideal".  That's what they mean when they say that there is a "gay agenda".  Convincing them that homosexuality should not only be tolerated but should be viewed as no less desirable than straightness is the last battle.

The American people aren't all that homophobic. The phobia is being cultivated by religious and right-wing organizations who see this as a source of power. "gay marriage" has replaced "abortion" as the rallying cry for right-wing fundraising and demonizing of liberals.

It's truly scary that organizations and religions that claim to be "pro-family" are so compelled to control who, what, where, when, how, and whether the rest of us have families.

us in this civil rights battle.

When asked to specifically define his views on marriage, Obama has stated that he believes "that marriage is the union between a man and a woman." "Now, for me as a Christian, it's also a sacred union. God's in the mix," he added.

I think it's pretty clear where Barack H. Obama stands on gay marriage.

When asked to specifically define his views on marriage, Obama has stated that he believes "that marriage is the union between a man and a woman." "Now, for me as a Christian, it's also a sacred union. God's in the mix," he added.

Why hide rate the truth? Obama says marriage is between a man and a woman.

Defend his remarks instead of hiding my facts.

Interesting diary.  I think this is a very complex psychological, sociological, and political question.

The desire to procreate is a fundamental biological need.  The majority of people desperately want to have children (and not just any children but their own biological children), and they also want their children to have children.  One of people's biggest fears is that their children won't get married and have children.

Though people logically know that homosexuality is not a "lifestyle choice," they still are consumed by a great fear that their children will be gay.  And they worry that if homosexuality is fully legitimized as equally valid to heterosexuality, then more people will become gay, including just possibly their children. I think that's why the Yes on 8 campaign was so successful. The hidden message behind the focus on children was that "if your children are taught that to be homosexual is fine, they might be more likely to become gay themselves."

I think this is related to people's own sexuality as well.  At some level,almost everybody is attracted sexually to both genders, even if one gender strongly predominates.  Most straights thus have some attraction (even if slight) to people of their same gender, and, because homosexuality is so stigmatized in our society, that's a part of their personality they have kept at bay.  But having that attraction makes them wonder -- oh, if I grew up in a society where homosexuality is fully value, is it possible I could have become gay?  (And therefore, could my children become gay in the same circumstances?)

I think this is also why the No on 8 campaign was so weak.  The Ywa on 8 campaign was pushing some pretty powerful buttons in people, and the No on 8 campaign really didn't fight back but instead tried to put out this very neutral sounding message.  As controversial as the Courage Campaign commercial was, I think it was more on target, by pushing some powerful buttons (for rights of privacy, for people's right to control their own lives, against religious intolerance).

Anyway, those are my random thoughts.

No, there's no threat to any churches. No, it doesn't force any one to do anything against his/her will. All it means is that all loving couples are treated equally under the law.

Perhaps a small point, but I try to avoid saying we want to treat all couples equally, although it's logically precise, it sounds a lot like we're seeking the right to marry for all loving couples, which in fact we aren't seeking.

We want society's rules that prevent some couples from marrying (e.g. age restrictions, kinship restrictions, and the rule against marrying more than one person at a time) to apply to same-sex couples, just as they apply to mixed-sex couples.

So I tend to say we want same-sex couples to be treated equally, not all couples. Some people will of course still make silly slippery-slope arguments, but I think it can be a little less of a linguistic trigger in the ears of more moderate people if we avoid the phrase "all couples."

cite whatever statistics form sociology polls or master's theses you will --- yes the US is still a dangerous place to be out and gay. most people today are wise enough to know that it's wrong to discriminate - thus I think the inflated poll numbers. these shouldn't be justification for active outrage at discrimination. jesus, CALIFORNIA just voted for one of the most back-assed, bigoted ballot measures. is that really progress?

As will states enacting it by legislation, taking away this inane focus on judges.  Hopefully New York becomes the first state to legalize marriage equality purely by legislative action, Gov. Paterson is a supporter and we just got control of the state Senate.

The level of exposure for gays and lesbians has also helped to reduce fear and anger towards them.  It's hard to rail against "the evil gays" when Ellen Degeneres is the face that pops up when you think of them.

It's sad that a lot of people can't just grasp the truth on their own, but it is possible to change minds on this issue, I have personally seen it happen in my own family.  Having a gay cousin helped them get over themselves.

Mass Equality did a similiar poll, which showed 62% of all Massachusetts voters supported same sex marriage.  ... And then they voted to legitimize same sex marriage. Interestingly enough, lesbians began to marry at a much faster rate than male homosexuals. The rate of lesbian marriage was nearly 65% to 35% , or 30% more women than men filed applications to marry.

In the end, however, this poll and others were national outliers. National polling has always shown lack of support for same sex marriage, and the specialized polling cited here in the article and the one done for Mass equality in Massachusetts are probably statistics chosen with a sharp axe to grind.

In the end, the national support isn't here -and people are more than willing to go to the polls and pull the lever against same sex marriage - they even did it in the state that San Francisco is found.

I would offer that to strengthen this post, esp. since you're citing national statistics, a national table of the other polling on the subject is called for. If you include that, this poll becomes an outlier.

Not that its wrong - and on a state by state basis, it can be correct - but if we're going to talk national numbers on a subject so well-researched as this one, its probably a good idea to cite other polls as well..?
 

Seems to me we should abandon "marriage" and just demand equal rights. I will never understand why some of us want to mirror straight relationships and use the term "married". We should be inventing our own cultural terms not trying to highjack straight ones.

gay marriage.  And it's because those people have suffered enough already!

Seriously, I'm fortunate enough to be with a woman who sees marriage the same way I do--as a legal nightmare that favors whichever party decides to turn asshole or idiot first.

But what the hell, if otherwise intelligent people, gay or straight, wish to put themselves through it, more power to them.  Having freedom also means being free to screw up big time.

It's not that three quarters prefer recognizing marriage, it's that three quarters prefer recognizing something with only a minority preferring full marriage equality.  We're getting closer for sure, but we're still not there yet.

Former Rep. David Bonior, who has deep roots in the labor movement, has mounted an aggressive behind-the-scenes campaign, with letters and personal lobbying, to press the Obama transition team and top labor leaders to get behind his pick for labor secretary: Union activist Mary Beth Maxwell, who would make history as the first openly gay cabinet member.

Excellent diary, it is so true, education is the key.  Over thanksgiving I had to explain to my girlfriend's college age cousins that if gay marriage is legal that homosexuals cannot sue a church for not marrying them if they chose not to because it is a private organization that isn't compelled by state law to recognize gay marriage.  I had to tell him that churches are the grantor of rights, the state is, so there would be no standing.  Believe it or not but these young guys are otherwise bright, but ignorance knows no IQ.  Sounds like they've likely been misled by their church.

You could just get the government out of marriage and leave it all up to the church. In effect give everyone civil unions by signing the license, and if you want to call yourself "married" or "husband and wife" or "husband and husband" or "wife and wife" or whatever, go find a church that can give you a marriage certificate that legally means nothing.

In other words, civil unions for all! Abolish marriage!

that approaches this problem from a different angle.

A recent Iowa poll showed that 28 percent of Iowans support gay marriage, and another 30 percent support domestic partnerships.

As you note, a lot of people seem to think gays should be satisfied with domestic partnership and don't understand why the public should be "forced" to accept gay marriage.

Paradoxically, I think one thing we need to educate people about is that even if gay marriage becomes legal, they do not have to approve of gay marriage. Most of us can think of marriages we don't approve of (say, 17-year-olds who dropped out of high school, or a professor marrying a student), but which are still legal. Heck, I know people who disapprove of my own marriage, because my husband is not Jewish.

In an ideal world, I would want everyone to accept all loving couples and not be judgmental, but I think in the real world we need people to understand that they can still disapprove of gay marriage, even if it is legal. No one will be "forced" to accept gay marriage. No clergy will be "forced" to officiate at gay marriages.

Gays and lesbians need to keep coming out. Average folks and famous people alike must be visible to show straight America we aren't really that different from them. That is why things have changed so much over the past 40 years. I came out in 1981 when I was 17 and I know that I have changed many minds for the better about sexual orientation.

Personally I think most truly straight people do not care one way or another about this issue and will side with fairness. Some of our  worst 'enemies' are people who cannot handle their own sexuality. This is just sad. Generally, sexually well adjusted people just don't care.

I have always believed that gays and lesbians would achieve equal rights in our country and around the world. I have always believed that I would eventually be able to marry the person I love. When I was young, older gays and lesbian (and a few young one's as well), thought I was foolish and idealistic. Maybe I was, but I have acted as if it will happen for my entire life, and I see no reason to stop now.