Married Women Abort for Secret Desire to Make Lesbians Equal

As a former Virginian, I’m all too aware of the asshatery that is Pat Robertson. I once lived a short distance from his colonial palace cum religious law school and occasionally saw some of his on-air “journalists” at the local Farm Fresh. I knew of him when Jim and Tammy Bakker were still producing a kids show starring gospel-spewing puppets (real puppets, not the marionettes that watch CBN). And I’ve followed his frightening career as he prayed away hurricanes and claimed the storms were God’s vengeance on Walt Disney World’s Gay Days.

His latest crusade against the Thundering Herd of Queerosity is a rip-roaring fantasy – aborting babies as a way to “level the playing field” for lesbians. He claims to speak directly with God on the celestial hotline daily, but this is more proof that God really should get a better PR man to service his temporal account.

As with all Robertsonian screeds, he fails in the simple logic his “God” bestowed on humans. Clearly the daily conversations with the Big Kahuna aren’t nearly often enough.

Ether of the Gods
In his latest jaunt into the non-secular ether – ether which is apparently copiously pumped into the CBN News set – he makes his case for how lesbians would be on a “level field” with straight women.

His level playing field theory is so weak because he is simply unable to step across the aisle to see that women are constitutionally supposed to be on a level playing field, much as the religious can’t be “demoted” because atheists think Christians aren’t worth of a half set of civil rights (I believe that’s the implicit 11th Commandment he’s following here).

Pinhead Pat also contends that, “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?”

“Well, she can’t have children,” his animatronic co-host mews. Pat answers, “And so if these married women don’t have children, if they abort their babies, then that kind of puts them on a level playing field (with lesbians).

Pat buddy, it’s time for your birds and the bees talk. Let us break out our copy of Pat Has Two Mommies which we bought at the last Level Playing Field Bowl.

Your rambling analysis jumps to the conclusion that lesbians can’t have children – “Little Pat, pay attention! Both straight and lesbian women can have children. It happens every day. You really should get out more.”

Sapphic vs. Non-Sapphic Equality
And what’s up with this whole “abortion levels the playing field” concept? If a straight woman gets an abortion does she become a lesbian or a straight woman at 4th and 10 on the 20 yard line? If a lesbian aborts, does she become straight?

And, what’s on this “level playing field” anyway? Equal pay? The right to marry whoever she damn well pleases? Does it take an abortion to make the sapphic and non-sapphic equal in their right to get divorced?  And let’s not forget the gentlemen. If gay men get a geldingoscopy, do they turn straight, or is the other way around?

Just how many lesbians can dance on the tip of your pin head any way?

Pat, I know you’re terrified of many things in life, not the least of which are people who play for the other team. But dammit (Author’s note: The author was careful to adhere to the Third Commandment) Pat, if you’re going to love the sinner and hate the sin by hating both the sinner and the sin, get your story straight. Notwithstanding your belief in Creationism according to the Vlasic pickle stork, hire someone having a nodding acquaintance with the simple biology that deposited you here like a gay turd on our doorstep. It would be money well-spent. Unless, of course, God turns you into a lesbian to level the playing field.

Ouch! That WOULD be embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Married Women Abort for Secret Desire to Make Lesbians Equal

As a former Virginian, I’m all too aware of the asshatery that is Pat Robertson. I once lived a short distance from his colonial palace cum religious law school and occasionally saw some of his on-air “journalists” at the local Farm Fresh. I knew of him when Jim and Tammy Bakker were still producing a kids show starring gospel-spewing puppets (real puppets, not the marionettes that watch CBN). And I’ve followed his frightening career as he prayed away hurricanes and claimed the storms were God’s vengeance on Walt Disney World’s Gay Days.

His latest crusade against the Thundering Herd of Queerosity is a rip-roaring fantasy – aborting babies as a way to “level the playing field” for lesbians. He claims to speak directly with God on the celestial hotline daily, but this is more proof that God really should get a better PR man to service his temporal account.

As with all Robertsonian screeds, he fails in the simple logic his “God” bestowed on humans. Clearly the daily conversations with the Big Kahuna aren’t nearly often enough.

Ether of the Gods
In his latest jaunt into the non-secular ether – ether which is apparently copiously pumped into the CBN News set – he makes his case for how lesbians would be on a “level field” with straight women.

His level playing field theory is so weak because he is simply unable to step across the aisle to see that women are constitutionally supposed to be on a level playing field, much as the religious can’t be “demoted” because atheists think Christians aren’t worth of a half set of civil rights (I believe that’s the implicit 11th Commandment he’s following here).

Pinhead Pat also contends that, “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?”

“Well, she can’t have children,” his animatronic co-host mews. Pat answers, “And so if these married women don’t have children, if they abort their babies, then that kind of puts them on a level playing field (with lesbians).

Pat buddy, it’s time for your birds and the bees talk. Let us break out our copy of Pat Has Two Mommies which we bought at the last Level Playing Field Bowl.

Your rambling analysis jumps to the conclusion that lesbians can’t have children – “Little Pat, pay attention! Both straight and lesbian women can have children. It happens every day. You really should get out more.”

Sapphic vs. Non-Sapphic Equality
And what’s up with this whole “abortion levels the playing field” concept? If a straight woman gets an abortion does she become a lesbian or a straight woman at 4th and 10 on the 20 yard line? If a lesbian aborts, does she become straight?

And, what’s on this “level playing field” anyway? Equal pay? The right to marry whoever she damn well pleases? Does it take an abortion to make the sapphic and non-sapphic equal in their right to get divorced?  And let’s not forget the gentlemen. If gay men get a geldingoscopy, do they turn straight, or is the other way around?

Just how many lesbians can dance on the tip of your pin head any way?

Pat, I know you’re terrified of many things in life, not the least of which are people who play for the other team. But dammit (Author’s note: The author was careful to adhere to the Third Commandment) Pat, if you’re going to love the sinner and hate the sin by hating both the sinner and the sin, get your story straight. Notwithstanding your belief in Creationism according to the Vlasic pickle stork, hire someone having a nodding acquaintance with the simple biology that deposited you here like a gay turd on our doorstep. It would be money well-spent. Unless, of course, God turns you into a lesbian to level the playing field.

Ouch! That WOULD be embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Weekly Pulse: Single-Payer Bills Pass Vermont Senate, House


By Lindsay Beyerstein, Media Consortium blogger

The Vermont state Senate passed legislation to create a single-payer health insurance system, Paul Waldman reports for TAPPED. Since the state House has already passed a similar bill, all that’s left to do is reconcile the two pieces of legislation before the governor signs it into law.

Waldman stresses that there are still many details to work out, including how the system will be funded. Vermont might end up with a system like France’s where everyone has basic public insurance, which most people supplement with additional private coverage. The most important thing, Waldman argues, is that Vermont is moving to sever the link between employment and health insurance.

Roe showdown

Anti-choicers are gunning for a Roe v. Wade showdown in the Supreme Court before Obama can appoint any more justices. At the behest of an unnamed conservative group, Republican state Rep. John LaBruzzo of Louisiana has introduced a bill that would ban all abortions, even to save the woman’s life. The original bill upped the anti-choice ante by criminalizing not only doctors who perform abortions, but also women who procure them. LaBruzzo has since promised to scale the bill back to just criminalizing doctors. This is all blatantly unconstitutional, of course,. but as Kate Sheppard explains in Mother Jones, that’s precisely the point:

The Constitution, of course, is exactly what LaBruzzo is targeting. He admits his proposal is intended as a direct challenge to Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 case in which the Supreme Court ruled that the constitutional right to privacy included the right to abortions in some circumstances. LaBruzzo says he’d like his bill to become law and “immediately go to court,” and he told a local paper that an unnamed conservative religious group asked him to propose the law for exactly that purpose.

Drug pushers in your living room

Martha Rosenberg poses a provocative question at AlterNet: Does anyone remember a time before “Ask Your Doctor” ads overran the airwaves, Internet, buses, billboards, and seemingly every other medium? Direct-to-consumer (DTC) drug advertising has become so ubiquitous that it’s easy to forget that it was illegal until the late ’90s. In the days before DTC, drug advertising was limited to medical journals, prescription pads, golf towels, and pill-shaped stress balls distributed in doctors’ offices–which makes sense. The whole point of making a drug prescription-only is to put the decision-making power in the hands of doctors. Now, drug companies advertise to consumers for the same reason that food companies advertise to children. It’s called “pester power.”

DTC drug ads encourage consumers to self-diagnose based on vague and sometimes nearly universal symptoms like poor sleep, daytime drowsiness, anxiety, and depression. Once consumers are convinced they’re suffering from industry-hyped constructs like “erectile dysfunction” and “premenstrual dysphoric disorder,” they’re going to badger their doctors for prescriptions.

That’s not to say that these terms don’t encompass legitimate health problems, but rather that DTC markets products in such vague terms that a lot of healthy people are sure to be clamoring for drugs they don’t need. Typically, neither the patient nor the doctor is paying the full cost of the drug, so patients are more likely to ask and doctors have little incentive to say no.

Greenwashing air fresheners

A reader seeks the counsel of Grist’s earthy advice columnist Umbra on the issue of air fresheners. Some of these odor-concealing aerosols are touting themselves as green for adopting all-natural propellants. Does that make them healthier, or greener? Only marginally, says Umbra. Air fresheners still contain formaldehyde, petroleum distillates, and other questionable chemicals.

This post features links to the best independent, progressive reporting about health care by members of The Media Consortium. It is free to reprint. Visit the Pulse for a complete list of articles on health care reform, or follow us on Twitter. And for the best progressive reporting on critical economy, environment, health care and immigration issues, check out The Audit, The Mulch, and The Diaspora. This is a project of The Media Consortium, a network of leading independent media outlets.

 

 

Pat Robertson - Kill Babies, Make Lesbians

Fundamentalist Christian Pat Robertson has the crazy idea that liberals want to kill babies to turn straight women into lesbians.

 

Weekly Pulse: DCCC Ad Shows Grandpa Stripping for Extra Cash to Pay for Medicare

By Lindsay Beyerstein, Media Consortium blogger

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z7FiBsR8OQ[/youtube]

How will the next generation of seniors pay for health care if Republicans privatize Medicare? The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) suggests some options in a darkly funny ad featuring a grandfatherly gentleman mowing lawns and stripping for extra cash. The ad will run in 24 GOP-controlled swing districts, Suzy Khimm reports for Mother Jones.

The ad is a riposte to Paul Ryan's budget, which would eliminate Medicare and replace it with a system of "premium support"--annual lump sum cash payments to insurers. These payments would be pegged to the growth of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) +1%, even though health care costs are growing much faster than the economy at large. That means that real benefits will shrink over time. Seniors will be forced to come up with extra money to buy insurance, assuming they can find an insurer who's willing to sell it to them.

Josh Holland of AlterNet predicts that the GOP is committing political suicide with the its anti-Medicare budget. The more ordinary voters learn about Ryan's budget, the less they like it:

A poll conducted last week found that, “when voters learn almost anything about [the Ryan plan], they turn sharply and intensely against it.” And why wouldn't they? According to an analysis by the non-partisan Center for Budget and Policy Priorities (CBPP), the Republicans' “roadmap” would “end most of government other than Social Security, health care, and defense by 2050,” while providing the “largest tax cuts in history” for the wealthy.

Holland interviews an economist who estimates that the Medicaid cuts in the Ryan budget alone would cost 2.1 million jobs.

Under the bus

The Democratic spin about the deal to avert a budget shutdown was that Democratic leaders held fast against Republican demands to defund Planned Parenthood. However, as Katha Pollitt explains in The Nation, the Democrats capitulated on other reproductive rights issues in order to save Planned Parenthood.

For example, under the budget deal, Washington, D.C. will no longer be allowed to use local taxes to pay for abortions. Democrats also agreed to $17 million in cuts to the Title X Family Planning Program, Planned Parenthood's largest source of federal funding.

American women aren't alone under the bus. Jane Roberts notes at RH Reality Check that the budget deal slashed $15 million from the U.N. Population Fund, and millions more from USAID's budget for reproductive health and family planning. At least Democrats successfully rebuffed GOP demands to eliminate funding for the United Nations Population Agency.

Roberts observes:

And this is at a time when the whole world is coalescing behind the education, health and human rights of the world’s women and girls. What irony!

Blood for oil

Nearing the one-year anniversary of the explosion aboard the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that killed 11 workers, Daniel J. Weiss writes for Grist:

The toll of fossil fuels on human health and the environment is well documented. But our dependence on fossil fuels exacts a very high price on the people who extract or process these fuels. Every year, some men and women who toil in our nation's coal mines, natural gas fields, and oil rigs and refineries lose their lives or suffer from major injuries to provide the fossil fuels that drive our economy.

Oil rigs are just one of many dangerous places to work in the fossil fuel industry, Weiss notes. Last year, an explosion at the Upper Big Branch mine in West Virginia killed 29 workers. Nearly 4,000 U.S. miners have been killed on the job since 1968.

Natural gas has a cleaner image than coal, but natural gas pipelines are also plagued by high rates of death and injury--892 natural gas workers have been killed on the job and 6,258 have been injured since 1970.

Cheers!

Ashley Hunter of Campus Progress brings you an exciting roundup of the news you need about college and alcohol, just in time for Spring Break. In an attempt to discourage rowdy off-campus partying, the College of the Holy Cross is encouraging its students to drink on campus by keeping the campus pub open later and allowing students under 21 inside as long as they wear different colored wrist bands to show they are too young to be served alcohol.

This post features links to the best independent, progressive reporting about health care by members of The Media Consortium. It is free to reprint. Visit the Pulse for a complete list of articles on health care reform, or follow us on Twitter. And for the best progressive reporting on critical economy, environment, health care and immigration issues, check out The Audit, The Mulch, and The Diaspora. This is a project of The Media Consortium, a network of leading independent media outlets.

 

 

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