There’s Gotta Be a Morning After

  • Barack Obama is a wretched excuse for a president and leader of the Democratic Party. Nevermind this nonsense about a blanket “anti-incumbent” fevah. This was a repudiation of our party’s leaders and their policies. Instead of offering voters anything in the way of changed course—mortgage moratorium? Timothy Geithner’s head?—the White House decided to essentially ride out the clock. The thing about congressional politics is this: most representatives are hack politicians—one way or the other. Not every Democrat that voted for the Troubled Asset Relief Program, corporatist health care “reform,” etc., was Barney Frank or Obama. That is to say, left-wing agents of finance capital. The vast majority of these folk merely toe the line. Consequently the onus is on this president and he sacrificed a great deal of decent people last night. Many of them would have been willing to go down for a hell of a lot more than Mitt Romney’s health care plan. This man has to go.
  • A Republican rout of 60+ seats in the House of Representatives will probably retire Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Mrs. Pelosi was—nay, is—a tough broad, a trailblazer and a savvy operator. Over the past two years, her considerable talent has been in the service of either flawed or outright failed policies and that’s regrettable. I continue to regard Mrs. Pelosi as a relatively decent establishmentarian who would have been fantastic if given a real Democratic president on the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue.
  • Grandpa Edwin is Governor of California again. Ironically, I suspect the failure of Proposition 19 will engender the least bit of griping from the progressive base. For all intents and purposes, ganja is already legal in the Golden State. There isn’t much either Gov. Brown or a Gov. Meg Whitman could have done to arrest the systemic problems the state faces otherwise, so it’s a wash.
  • Florida’s Marco Rubio bested both Charlie Crist, the orange governor who pole-vaulted to independence, and Rep. Kendrick Meek, the good guy. Once again President Obama disgraced himself. (Granted, Mr. Meek was an early, enthusiastic and loyal supporter of Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2008.) There wasn’t any reason to believe Marco Rubio would lose in either a two- or three-way race and many of us said so. Kendrick Meek may be a meek, small-time politician, but there’s no reason why Gov. Christ had to siphon as many Democratic votes from the Democratic nominee as he did. Meek’s supposed vulnerability was an entirely self-fulfilling prophecy. Barack Obama’s condescension towards the only possible black U.S. senator—aren’t we supposed to care about that kind of thing?—was stunning. “Don't say I never gave you anything,” Obama quipped after buying Kendrick Meek a sandwich while in town for a token visit.
  • In 1952 Barry AuH2O ousted Senate Majority Leader Ernest McFarland in Arizona. Harry Reid managed to avoid the same fate. This is a crowning achievement, to be sure, but pales to the point of transparency in comparison with him making a liar out of Jack Landsman. The latter was quite certain the harlot from Reno, Sharron Angle, would dispatch Mr. Reid electorally. Guess that “2nd Amendment” solution is back on the table, eh?
  • What else can possibly be said for our patron saint Russ Feingold—murked last night by a random reactionary named “Johnson” or some such? Ultimately Sen. Feingold has no one to blame but himself. In conservative districts around the country, numerous Democrats took the extraordinary step of running against their own House speaker or professing support for John McCain in 2008. And it was necessary. For his part, Russ Feingold should have thrown in with the left opposition to Barack Obama months ago. Obama and Feingold are not the same kind of liberals, but he nevertheless allowed himself to be caricatured as such. Instead of going out like a boss—a fitting end to the lone dissenter against the Patriot Act in October 2001—Russ Feingold went out like a punk, carping about outside expenditures, as if anyone cared about process. I want to believe he’ll be back in some fashion or another.

The Republicans: Poised at the Glory Hole

As we enter the midterm elections the US is like a ship without a rudder – or more appropriately, a ship with a broken one. Obamanism has had mixed results at best with as much complaint from the left as the right. Approval ratings for Congressional Democrats are lower than whale crap at the bottom of the Marianas Trench and for Republicans … well, let’s just say they’re so bad even The Big Dick™ would flinch at the numbers.

The prevailing wisdom is that Republicans will romp and take back Congress for Contract on America – Part Deux. John “Agent of Orange” Boehner and Mitch “Yertle the Turtle” McConnell will rise to the podium and try to control their herd of cats better than the Democrats’ disgraceful performance.

Being egotistical, intransigent buffoons they’ll surely prattle on about non-existent mandates, promises of a new beginning, and demands that anyone – left, right, or center – genuflect and kiss their rings (and their asses too while they’re down there).

After 10 years of Republicans who rule and oppose rule like bungs in the hole of democracy, they’ll find a country a whole lot harder to govern than they remember. First, they were the ones to lay George’s flaming bags of dog crap on America’s front porch for someone else to solve (it turns out, poorly) and the country is none too happy about it.

Second, they will have to expand their limited single word, monosyllabic platform beyond “no” – and hell no, “Hell no” won’t do.

And most dicey, they’ll have to pay for all those Tea Parties they attended so giddily. Now that the Baggers are beginning to spectacularly embarrass or outright turn on them, they’ll have to figure out what to do with the Mad Hatter crowd. The Baggers may be imbeciles, but they’re hell-bent on Change No One Can Believe In and the hell with Hope, Republicans, and the portion of voters who have more brain cells than a doughnut.

The prospect this year’s turnover signals a permanent American move somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan and the foundation for a glorious thousand year Reich is far-fetched (and no, I’m not comparing them to Nazis, only to idiots). They built the gallows over the past 10 years and laid out more than enough rope to hang themselves. And because Dems are the limpest politicians on Earth, they’ll unwittingly help the Republicans put the noose on by doing exactly what they did under the reign of Bush the Lesser and The Messiah – cower and agree with the Republicans on every issue because their natural response to bullies is to pee down their own legs. In other words, the Republicans and their in-bred cousins, the Tea Baggers, will prove they are their own worst enemies.

When Nancy Pelosi rose to power, I cautioned Democrats against being too effusive over what the historic change meant. They didn’t listen. They fist pumped, whooped and hollered, and shit in their own mess kits. I’m cautioning the Republicans against the same thing. However, being recidivist crapweasels I’m sure they’ll pour it on even thicker than the Democrats.

Republicans, ignore me at your peril. Before you even regain power, I can already see how you’ll lose it just as spectacularly as you did before, only the timetable is still left to complete.

Hopefully, you’ll lose it by 2012. We’re in bad enough shape already.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

You Know You Might Be a Moderate If…

This is the last installment in our You Know You Might Be a (Fill in the Blank) If series. If you missed Parts 1 and 2, don’t forget to read:

You know you might be a moderate if you:

  • Are part of the undecided vote in every poll.
  • Wish you could vote by remote control so you wouldn’t have to miss a minute of Real Housewives of Cincinnati.
  • Only vote every third election, regardless of what kind of election it is or what kinds of initiatives are on the ballot.
  • Know so little about candidates that you vote for whoever appears at the top of the ballot.
  • Still vote for Pat Paulson just to piss off the real politicians.
  • You think the three branches of government are dumb, dumber, and dumbest.
  • You think Supreme Court decisions are based on rationality or fairness rather than the Constitution.
  • You think Congress sucks, but every time you see something screwed up you say, “There oughta be a law…”
  • You think that voters can vote on the constitutionality of laws.
  • Vote the way the last campaign worker outside the polls told you to.
  • Will only cast your vote if it doesn’t “cancel out” your spouse’s.
  • Find punch card ballots advanced technology.
  • Think all out war is justifiable until you find out how many people get killed and how much it costs.
  • You watch Katie Couric, Brian Williams, or Jay Leno for all your news.
  • Don’t watch the Daily Show because you don’t get the jokes.
  • Don’t realize the Daily Show is a comedy show.
  • Can’t drive a stick shift.
  • Love the in-depth articles in USA Today.
  • Are for something before you are against something, right after you were for it and against it simultaneously.
  • Are annoyed that ballots aren’t in multiple choice format.
  • Don’t know who Sarah Palin is.
  • When you find out who she is, you think you could vote for her because she has an honest face.
  • Think taxes are too high while voting for high-ticket ballot initiatives.
  • Don’t understand why they haven’t been able to find that Osama Bin Laden fella after all these years.
  • Don’t recognize the names Mitch McConnell, Harry Reid, or Nancy Pelosi, but can name all the judges and contestants to ever appear on So You Think You Can Dance.
  • Were going to vote, but hadn’t heard about it being election day.
  • Complain vociferously about policies and elected officials while ignoring the fact you didn’t vote.
  • Believe in term limits so you won’t have to vote as often.
  • Hate it when a Presidential address comes on and “ruins my shows”.
  • You carry more than $25,000 on your credit card and don’t understand how long it will take to pay it off in minimum payments.
  • You think the answer to paying off the debt on one credit card can be reduced by transferring it all to a new credit card with a 0.1% lower APR.
  • Can’t balance a checkbook (although this could also be equally true for liberals and conservatives).
  • Think war is imminent when a story appears saying the Pentagon has a war plan for invading North Korea without realizing they have constantly updated plans for every country on Earth…including Canada.
  • Think the mainstream media is too liberal.
  • Think the mainstream media is too conservative.
  • Think the mainstream media is both too conservative and too liberal at the same time.
  • Don’t know what the terms liberal and conservative mean.
  • Never read newspapers, magazines, or watch the news.
  • Complain Congress is made up of fat cats while voting for CEOs whose previous experience was turning their former companies into smoking holes in the ground while collecting a severance package greater than the GDP of Guatemala.
  • Complain about unions while taking time off from your 40-hour a week job to get company-supplied medical treatment for the black lung and crushed leg you got in a non-union coal mine.
  • Complain about executive compensation, but follow the company’s voting recommendation when the proxy statement for your 3 shares of AT&T shows up.
  • Thought Ted Stevens gave an enlightening explanation of the tubes and trucks that make up the Internet.
  • Spend a lot of time playing war-based video games while being undecided about Iraq and Afghanistan.
  • Couldn’t form an opinion if your life depended on it.
  • Don’t remember to mail in your absentee ballot until 3 months after the election after finding it in the junk drawer in your kitchen.
  • Appreciate the points from both right and left, but can’t vote because the positions seem so similar.
  • Think all Congressional votes are based on a simple majority.

 

 

 

Ridiculous Repub scheme to bump Pelosi

This is ridiculous. From Roll Call:

Rep. Mike Simpson (R-Idaho) is trying to foment a long-shot Democratic rebellion against Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) that would install House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) in her place after the November elections.

The scenario, as Simpson sees it, runs like this: Democrats lose a bunch of seats but cling to a narrow majority. If a handful of Democrats withhold their votes for Pelosi, Democrats would have to put up another candidate, or else Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) would become Speaker.

“I’m trying to help Steny,” Simpson said with a smile. “If it gets close enough, six or eight Blue Dogs could make the difference." ...

“Mr. Hoyer is focused on keeping the House in Democratic hands and being Majority Leader in the next Congress,” Hoyer spokeswoman Katie Grant said. Hoyer, indeed, hasn’t given any hint of challenging the Speaker.

This scheme is ridiculous. First, "six or eight Blue Dogs" might be a large part of the Blue Dog caucus, given that, like in 1994, it won't be House liberals who lose this fall. Most of their districts are safe; any voter anger at liberals will more likely take out Democrats in vulnerable districts, who are mostly the conservadems. Most pundits don't get that, and apparently neither does Simpson. Second, Dems are very loyal to Pelosi. She helped get many of them elected, lets them off the hook for tough votes when she knows she has the margin, and most importantly, is extremely effective at passing their agenda. The House health bill was better than the Senate health bill; financial regs are being watered down because of folks like SENATOR Scott Brown; climate legislation and tax extenders have passed the House but failed in the Senate.

Nancy Pelosi is a very partisan figure who knows how to hold a grudge, and I don't like that. But given her effectiveness, Democratic lawmakers aren't about to send her packing. Mike Simpson, get a life.

(Since this attempt will go nowhere, the only reason this story warrants any attention at all is that it gives one the chance to emphasize the fact that it's the Blue Dogs who will suffer, not the progressives. It caught my eye not because of the leadership "challenge" but because of the Idaho connection. Simpson is the state's other Congressman, ie, not mine, but is a big figure in western funding and politics.)

Speaker Pelosi, War Funding Next Week is No "Emergency"

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she is committed to passing an emergency war supplemental before the July Fourth recess, Roll Call reports.

Let us be perfectly clear, as President Obama might say. There is no "emergency" requiring the House to throw another $33 billion into our increasingly bloody and pointless occupation of Afghanistan before we all go off to celebrate the anniversary of our Declaration of Independence from foreign occupation.

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