Obama takes on McCain's jabs about Ayers

copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert.  BeThink.org

Last evening Mister Gregory had a chance to speak to Mister Fairbanks of the issue.  "Who is Barack Obama?" Barry thought he might introduce the topic delicately.  The two men were in a car together.  They had traveled across the country to meet with school Principals, Superintendents, and other professional educators.  The hour was late, and dinner was on the agenda.

As the gents drove to the restaurant, Barry began the conversation; "Just as Barack Obama might not have known Bill Ayers background, who would think someone in this car was a member of SDS, Students for a Democratic Society?" Sean smiled and quickly replied, "I would." He then revealed that he was in fact a member of the largest and most influential radical student organization of the 1960s.  The devout Republican, a man who might represent the Corporate Class belonged to an organization, which was "initially concerned with equality, economic justice, peace, and participatory democracy." Sean recounted stories.  He told tales of his participation in anti-war protests.  Mister Fairbanks helped to close his college.  Sean showed "determined resistance," he was a radical, a rebel.  He could be considered a less visible, and less violent, Bill Ayers.

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Dan Schnur, McCain's communication director during the 2000 presidential campaign says that the maverick has returned, even if no one noticed. And McCain could prove it by picking Joe *ing Lieberman as a running mate. Schnur's argument is gibberish, of course, but I'll attempt a partial translation ...

Schnur: "On one hand, he is an unconventional politician who has made a career out of violating partisan and establishment norms."

Translation: There's some guy named Norm who got financially violated in the Keating Five ripoff and walks funny to this very day. But unlike other politicians, John McCain got to have a career after practicing allegorical proctology without a license.

Schnur: "But he is also a strong conservative, not just on the national security issues on which he and Mr. Lieberman agree, but also on economic and social policy matters on which Al Gore's former running mate is well to the left of center."

Translation: Time to remind my fellow Republicans that they could have done worse than a nominee whose voted with Bush 89% of the time between 2001-2007.

Schnur: "Mr. McCain is also a very visceral politician ..."

Translation: See! He does have something in common with all us mere mortals, he has viscera!

Schnur: "But the most important benefit that Mr. Lieberman would bring to the ticket is that it would allow Mr. McCain to be a maverick again. ... It's not like Mr. McCain hasn't tried to be unconventional. But Barack Obama turned down his invitation ..."

Translation: John Sidney McCain needs permission to go to the bathroom be a maverick.

Schnur: "There is nothing that John McCain treasures more dearly than his nonconformist reputation, the idea that he's a different breed of politician."

Translation: ... because otherwise the relentless tedium of his pampered existence would weigh upon his jaded soul like a pert, blonde lobbyist who unfortunately reminds him of all his friends' mistresses. But at least he doesn't eat lettuce.

Schnur: "Mr. Lowry correctly argues that John McCain would have to pledge to serve only one term in office, while Mr. Lieberman would have to promise not to seek the presidency in 2012."

Translation: Yes, I know Republicans hate him that much. But come on, people, the Supreme Court is almost ours. Pleeeease?

Schnur: "Meanwhile, John McCain appears to be wrestling with which course of action makes sense. For him, it's not a matter of choosing between emotion and political calculation, but rather two different personal allegiances."

Translation: My former client does not make political or emotional calculations. His decisions are based entirely on whether or not your repeated kisses have worn part of his behind shiny.

So there you have it. Even Republicans make sense sometimes.

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