Get rid of the noose visual, it's too much.  Reiterate the Confederate Surfer thing, it's strong.  Otherwise it's pretty good.

Needs to be tighter and faster.

Also could use some more visual cueues like flash frames between the people.

It could also use music or some other more creative sound editing.

The orange titles don't look very good, though that could be video compression.

All that said, I think the idea is strong. If you wanted to play that on the Daily Show in college markets, you could probably get the airtime cheap through the local cable franchise. It would have an impact.

I agree with all they said, except I like the noose.

I would assume the orange is an homage to Kos, where Stark started all this kind of stuff.

The young woman who asks "then why did you wink and laugh..." talks too quickly for people to hear the words "wink and laugh" clearly.

But it's a good ad. Let 'er rip....

The noose is the thing wherein we catch the conscience of ... the voter.  The confederate surfer dude bit was pretty good , too.

Coupla things:

1) Not crazy about the noose.

2) As an alum of U.Va, I love the use of the University's Rotunda in the background; visually connects the message with Jeffersonian democracy; suggests that Allen is a threat to Jefferson's vision of what this country should be.

I agree with Josh that it could use some improvement, but that the idea is strong.

I wouldn't get rid of the noose visual.  I think part of this ad's purpose is to highlight all the serious questions that have been raised recently about who Allen really is, and the noose in the office, combined with Confed flag stuff is fair game on the score.  I think the noose actually works pretty well with the guy's comment, though it is a bit creepy (then again, so is Allen).

I like that the message comes from young people asking questions.  Allen is vulnerable on all this now and somehow it seems to work that it's young folks who are raising the questions...their relative innocence highlights his increasingly evident "guilt."  It ends with "what's really in your heart?"  I think that's a good question to have out there, and I think that, overall, this ad helps keep it out there.

It lacks the skillful production of the Webb ad posted today, but I think it helps the cause. I'd guess that more punch could help it go viral, but I'm too old to speculate intelligently on what young voters might pick up on.

It needs to be tighter, slicker, & hit harder. Really shame the guy.

I think it smartly connects the two damning raps on Allen: that he's a lightweight and that he's a racist. Well done, if tummy-churning.

I love this -- I like the fact that it feels rough and imperfect... it feels like it really was done by a bunch of outraged young people, not overpaid campaign consultants. If it was slicker or tighter, I suspect it would lose that sense of authenticity. Obviously it only has value if it starts to make the rounds on the web and takes on a life of its own...  let's hope that happens.

I've forwarded it to some young voters (18 - 23) I know in VA -- I'll be anxious to hear what they think of it.

Overall: the visuals are good but it could use a bit of editing.  (but really only just a bit)

Maybe redo the lines to get the best takes, or something.  Maybe some pauses to let the words sink in.

At first I thought it could use music, but I now I'm not so sure.

Opening title: Is orange really the best color?  And it should say Republican Senator George Allen not just George Allen.

Opening line:  Good opening line.  It says what the target of the ad is (or should be) thinking about and sets up the rest of the ad and then the male hits it home by calling Allen a bully.  Sweet.

Second:  The black lady has the perfect "Oh, no you di'n't!" contempt in her voice about the pro-confederate/anti-black two-fer from Allen as governor.  And, of course, it needed to be delivered by an African-American.

Third:  HAHAHA.  Probably the best bit.  George Allen - Poseur surfer.

Fourth:  Allen should be highlighted in the "White Supremacist" photo.  The black woman has by far the best delivery, too.

Fifth:  Seems that the noose bit is garnering the most comments.  You could go even farther and show a picture of a lynched African-American.  Bet that would rile people up.

Sixth:  The "wink and laugh" lady talks too fast.  I wouldn't have even known she said win-and-laugh if someone hadn't mentioned it above.

Ending:  The ending is fine.  Good bookend to the ad.  Ad starts off with "I don't know about you" and ends with "I think you're a racist".  Exactly what the ad wants the viewer to think.

Jason

1.  What happened to the update on the Senate races that was coming yesterday?

2.  Over at the Iowa Electronic Markets, a $1.00 contract for "Republicans lose House" has been slipping in price for a week, bottoming around 34 cents but today it has rebounded to around 37 cents.  These NIE/Iraq issues are strating to resonate with election "investors".

Powerful! Seeing young voters speaking out will be very inspiring! I have tears of joy to know the youth in our country gets it and is willing to go out for change. Bravo.

I'm not in advertising or marketing so I wont comment on what should be quicker or slower in this advertisement. However as a Virginia who is beyond disgusted with Senator Felix Macaca, all I can say is the more information that gets out to the voting public about what a little creep this bastard is the better.  Having the words come from college aged kids is a good move. Old anti-war activists like me from the Vietnam era have our minds already made up.  "Kids" are the key to getting Macaca moved back to California where he belongs.  So, good on ya, developers of this ad. The more the merrier.

I 100% love it.  Allen had a noose; the noose belongs in the ad.  The voters talk like voters, not actors.  The surfing point is great - I'd forgotten he grew up on the Pacific.

Love the noose

Noose is good.

The problem with the ad is that the speakers are bad actors/ readers. It doesn't appear genuine.

Don't use the term "all-white audience" in an ad that ought to appel both to minority Virginians and moderate whites.

It's not because I personally think it's racially offensive, but because a lot of whites will take it that way. Why? While Virginia has made a lot of progress on racial issues, and is not the white-supremacist wonderland that some have tried to portray it as, there is still a lot of underlying resentment among moderate whites toward allegations of racism.

Implying in anyway that whites are participating in a racist act is going to piss off a lot of people because they're sensitive about it. I don't reccomend doing that--it's just going to make things problematic for Webb with a lot of "righteous white man" coverage.

Note that I am NOT defending said attitudes, only reflecting upon their reality.

Cut the whole apology-to-all-white-audience thing.

Orange letters on white background?  I'm not hating on the orange, I'm hating the white background.

Hit the confederate surfer stuff more if possible.  "Why were you sporting confederate flags as a high schooler in southern cal?"

And I'd LOVE to see the deer head show up in the next ad.  Just make it a question: "And did you really cut off the head of a deer and leave it in a black family's mailbox?"  Make the bastard deny it.  (And then hopefully find that black family and get em to come forward!)

good ad, good project.

Many good points by others, but I'd reinforce the fact that Allen should be explicitly identied as a Republican in the opening. No way will that identity help him at all.

The noose has people going both ways. I think the noose would be stronger and convey the message better if it were paired with the confederate flag--"you hung a confederate flag and a noose in your office; those are a horrible pair of symbols to most young Virginians"  (and I'd include 'young' just to get voters thinking about whether they wanted to be seen as 'old Virginia' or 'new Virginia?'

Definitely 'wink and nod' and the all white audience are important, but 'wink and nod' has to be understood--and I didn't get it until viewing number 3.

T.J.

My initial reaction was drop the all-white audience line. Also that there were too many cuts from speaker to speaker. Use maybe half that many. And I completely missed the wink and laugh line, to the point I was stunned to read about it in the comments.

Overall plenty of potential with this ad. I would expand on the California surfer line, maybe including the ages he lived in California. He didn't move to Virginian until age 19, or whatever. I think he attended UCLA for a year after high school then transferred to Virginia.

There was a lynching in Mobile, Alabama, in 1981, so it's not ancient history. The victim was a teenager. The men responsible were members of the United Klans of America, who had selected Robert Shelton as their Imperial Wizard in 1961. Allen knew enough about this man's position in the Klan to infamously nickname his college friend and football teammate, Dr Ken Shelton, "Wizard."

Why does it end on the statement: '...before we an talk about my support we need to talk about race.'?

This was confusing and weak. Just call the guy what he is a racist.

That's what he is.

Tell the voters that.

Here's the thing--are they using young people to appeal to young voters? Because they look and sound like dorks.

Or are they trying to appeal to all voters? Because "the youth voice" concept isn't a winner with older people.

So choose one: make the speakers age diverse, or let the kids wear t-shirts and speak like themselves.

Also, the messages are right on, but the production value is booty. Boo-tee.

if anything a couple bars of music might be ok ...  a quick fix on the wink and nod would be in order ... otherwise i would keep the ad as is.

i particularly liked the noose segment ... reached out and grabbed this viewer. don't edit that out for any reason!

and what is wrong with keeping it "not overly polished" ... college students are never overly produced are they?

good job!!!!

Well what do you mean by Viral?  That term gets thrown around a lot w/r/t reaching young voters.  

If you mean is this thing gonna get 100,000+ hits on YouTube, I doubt it.  

I have to agree with Josh and Joe.  The timing is all off.  This ad is way too slow to really appeal to a young audience.  It felt like one of the longest 53 seconds ever.  Cut it back to 30sec and make the cuts a lot quicker.

They also need to be slicker.  Cutting while people are speaking and moving their position on the screen in mid-sentence is disruptive And it doesn't help that it looks like it was filmed against a budget green screen.  

The messages are right on, but I don't identify with a single one of these people.  They're not really speaking in my language,  even if what they  are saying is the right message.  There's no personal connection.

I think "viral" is too much to hope for, this is "old news" in internet terms.

I don't think it's impossible to see it spread. Not expecting a re-edit, but I'll give you my thoughts:

* The noose image should be a picture of HIS noose in HIS office. Connect it back to him.
* Same with the Confederate flag. There are photos of HIS flag on HIS shelves.

I want to say I really like the "honest, what's up?" tone of the ad. But where you could make it hit home instead of a generic noose would be a lynching postcard. The generic noose you show COULD be a legitimate legal hanging. On the other hand, if it's a mob, a tree, and a kid on a rope ...

And in keeping with the tone, just show that for a flash and say "Don't you know what the noose means to some Americans?" or something better than my wording. Again, puts it back on him.

The other thing I would do is play up California. Show his cowboy boots, play some "Wipe Out". Don't let him get away with the "Western theme" because again, he's from URBAN CALIFORNIA. Good grief, if Republicans can make being from California a liability when they've sent Nixon and Reagan to the White House, we should be able to get some Virginians hackles up.

thinks it's way too wordy, too disjointed, and throws in too many ideas, so has no punch.  The whole surfer-flag thing is the only thing worth saving in the ad, and it should be the focus - the kid's quizzical look was cute and convincing, as well as his youthful tone of voice.  Cut the sucker down to just the one idea.

I like it.  Like the noose.  Love the surfer.

This is a late comment and I hope it gets noticed. I think this is fairly effective, but it speaks to the wrong crowd.  Most college kids in VA today probably already get it, and they usually don't vote any way.

I think a much more powerful ad would use Virginians age 40-70, mostly white, some declared Republicans saying "Welcome to the real Virginia Senator Allen, racism isn't Virginia and we don't want a racist leader." This message would speak to the demographic far more likely to be Allen voters.

I am a staunch Jim Webb supporter and busted my ass to help him win the primary.

However...this ad is LAME.

It has way too many cut-aways; it's not coherent; the people talking appear to be bad actors. The ad looks busy.

Perhaps you could have one person in all the frames with a rainbow of young adults in the background, and for the last frame, in one voice they make the final and condemning statement.